I got two vaccines and watched the Nets play a preseason game

It begins, but it never really ended

1:00pm I see that the Brooklyn Nets play their first preseason game of the year tonight against the Philadelphia 76ers. The diligent gumshoes of NetsDaily ensure me that all key Nets will be playing. The poetry of Ben Simmons making his debut appearance as a Net against his former team in an exhibition game that could not matter less reveals itself to me forcefully. I decide it would be funny in a way that doesn’t much require explanation to get both my COVID booster and flu shot today, letting the two vaccines course through my left arm as I watch the Nets embark upon their death march.

5:15pm I arrive at the CVS about 45 minutes early for my vaccination appointment. The process goes off without a hitch, save the momentary shimmying-into-unbuttoning of my short sleeved button down to free up my left arm. I experience a momentary bout of light-headedness when the doctor tells me that he hopes I don’t have a reaction.

6:30pm I hear the “Nets on Yes” jingle and a chill runs down my spine. Ben Simmons walks through the metal detectors in an outfit that suggests it is raining in Brooklyn. Ian Eagle is nowhere to be found. I hear Ryan Ruocco’s voice and get the distinct sense that it is a Wednesday night in January.

6:33pm Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant talk to one another while warming up. They seem amused in the same way you are amused in the breakroom mocking your colleagues with your one work friend.

6:35 I am reminded to move my left arm. Steve Nash, in an interview, looks like Casey Affleck in Manchester By The Sea.

6:40 I learn James Harden is not playing. This fills me with tremendous sorrow. Every Nets starter but Kevin Durant daps up the announcing crew. We have our first “families have issues” of the year. Joe Harris airballs a three pointer.

6:43 Joe Harris airballs a second three pointer.

6:45 The crowd is chanting “Ben Simmons.” It’s neither clear to me nor him whether it is a cheer or a taunt. He picks up his dribble at the first “c” in the Barclays Center logo.

6:46 Royce O’Neale enters and hits a three pointer. I feel my love for him transforming, in real time, from ironic to sincere.

6:55 Tyrese Maxey is scoring at will, which will make many people on Twitter happy. I’m starting to get very tired and wondering when I will cook dinner, if I can stomach it. 27-15 Philadelphia.

6:58 Montrezl Harrell begins his 76ers tenure with an offensive foul.

7:23 I cook dinner despite my nausea. The Nets are losing by 16.

7:29 Kyrie Irving is trying on defense in a preseason game. I start feeling the faint outlines of a hope I know I cannot entertain. On cue, the Nets give up three straight offensive rebounds. I move my left arm like a windmill.

7:31 The Nets are winning the championship. Oil spatters across my kitchen as the turmeric chicken sizzles in its skillet.

7:54 Something evil is happening. The Nets take the floor: David “The Grand Dragon” Duke Jr., Markieff Morris, Cam Thomas, Yuta Watanabe, and Edmond Sumner. With or without vaccine side effects, I suspect I am not long for this game.

8:00 An Edmond Sumner fan favorite arc feels inevitable. As I think this, he is subbed out. A Free Edmond Sumner arc feels inevitable.

8:12 With three minutes left in the third quarter, I’m wondering why I did this. It hasn’t been fun, it hasn’t been “funny.” With respect both to the vaccines and the game, I feel nothing other than a suspicion that I will be exhausted in the morning. The Brooklyn Nets are back. Wearever Brooklyn At, there you at.

8:15 “It feels good” – Royce O’Neale on being a Net.

8:16 Montrezl Harrell fouls out of a preseason game. My stomach hurts.