The NBA star now is similar to Vegas post-Mafia, the simulacrum of "cool" brought in as the NBA has become "de-mafiafied" with Adam Silver. Neoliberalism started to fill the power void by trying to manufacture a new generation of corny ad-campaign rappers that tout "loyalty" (Dame Lillard) directly leading to the NBA podcast generation seemingly trying to embody the "winning mindset business seminar speaker" to sell gambling ads. There's a progress in the safety gambling apps bring, they won't break your legs when you've spent your kids' college fund beating the under on Haliburton steals. But, you still lose the aura when the stakes seem lower, more sterile, and corporate without an embodied fear.
Optimization killed cool (at least as we knew it). Sixty 3s a game is mathematically sound, but lacks creativity. Nicotine without the risk of death is cheating. A homogenous West Village misunderstands the core concept. Avoiding the risk of a poor outcome is fundamentally uncool.
Hopefully, these are examples of the natural life cycle of cool shit. Guerrilla insurgencies that become mainstream due to their own success. The waltz was once irreverent. Jazz became jazz. And so on.
Tatum’s issue is that he’s been set up as the heir of Kobe but with absolutely none of the charisma, no matter how many flashy Nike campaigns he’s given. Brunson, despite the pedigree, was never really expected to reach this level, so him being a kinda boring normal guy feels much more natural. He may not be cool, but he's not trying to be, which should count for something
Tatum is going to take a hard look at his life over the next 10 months of recovery, stare deeply into Kobe's eyes in the poster on his bedroom ceiling, take a deep breath and decide "I need to commit a rape."
I am addicted to nicotine lozenges that I buy in bulk from CVS and Walgreens. While the mainstream nicotine discourse does not recognize this method, I would argue it is the most authentic and degenerate means of consumption. The child-proof caps always fall off the bottles, and I resort to sucking on loose lozenges from the bottom of my purse. There is no Reddit thread for people like me.
Smoking, why did I start, well I was once a fitness buff, didn’t smoke or drink, exercised daily, rode my mountain bike from home to the top of a nearby mountain at least once a week. Then I got a real job, I was working in state government as a student loan counselor but t wasn’t anywhere near enough to live on. So I traded my desk job for a jackleg rock drill. Luckily all that exercise allowed me to work a physically demanding job. It was a great job, great wages, free housing, free transportation to the mine, excellent health insurance for me and my family with room for advancement, free training, I doubled my income the first year then tripled it after that, it was 1995, we moved from working poverty in Montana to solid middle class in 6 months in northern Nevada. My wife quir her job, we bought a new house and a new car for the first and only time.
I road in a van with my mining crew, most were old guys just finishing up their mining careers, some had started mining in Butte in the 60s, one guy was 72. They were quiet, very tough and a blast to work with. Many of them smoked, some smoke camels or lucky strikes, they would break the filter of a filtered cigarette if they were desperate and complain about how you just can’t get good cigarettes anymore, damn filters and all.
One old guy would roll his own, he learned how to roll cigarettes with one hand while driving a tractor, his wife would iron a special crease on his bib overalls to hold the paper, he never complained about cigarettes and seemed to take great enjoyment of the whole process. One day, he was training me how to drill a face round with a jackleg when we had a very close call, car sized boulders came down right between us. When it stopped, I had pissed my pants and wasn’t sure if this was the job for me. He rolled a smoke for me and I realized the sudden benefits of his chosen delivery method. I was too shaky to light the first one.
Then after riding in a van 90 minutes each way with 6 guys that all smoked I decided to join the club. I only smoked when I was scared at first, but then it became a habit. Now after 30 years of smoking I still hand roll, using the best tobacco with very thin papers is an experience far removed from a store bought cigarette. The only way to compare this would be the difference between real Italian expresso vs Folgers coffee crystals. Just a vague resemblance. The delivery system is an important and overlooked part of the process. It takes a few years to get good at hand rolling but like anything after a couple thousand you get it down. Now when I roll I am reminded of the best times of my life, the coolest people and a once in a lifetime opportunity that worked out great for me, alas I cannot ride my mountain bike to the top of the mountain anymore but, I still enjoy remembering it all when I smoke.
Great piece. it's an overused statement because everywhere is reddit now, but that includes nba superstars. it's fitting this is the first generation of superstars is probably the first one with a concept of "nba twitter" as something to be performed to or against
Some quote from this will inevitably end up in a deck presented to a client on how to broaden the appeal of their athletes. Which of course is half the problem. But in this case, it may also ironically be the solution.
If the world outside is increasingly volatile and unpredictable, then there’s value in mitigating risk wherever you CAN—and in this case, one avenue for risk reduction is personal aesthetics. Smoking, while cool, is polarizing. Zyn, while less cool, doesn’t warrant pushback—and who can afford pushback, in this economy?
This is my second time reading this piece (because it’s good and I like it) and I feel like there was a comment about the Brunson stuff that I’m not seeing anymore. I’m a Knicks fan and I listen to Jalen/Josh’s podcast and I don’t think you’re wrong in your analysis (especially with the podcast, oh boy) but I do think part of his Drake/Eminem/etc caption uncoolness comes from (and here is where I’m repeating that comment I can’t find) the difference from where he was expected to be in the league vs where has put himself. I’m not trying to justify his uncoolness or win you over to enjoy him, rather than mention I feel like that sort of person (exceeds public expectations) exudes that kind of uncoolness and that’s a phenomenon in its own
Much like how some of our greatest athletes have an undying belief in god, these “comeback szn” athletes have an undying belief in the power of Eminem and early Drake lyrics
Truly sensational stuff here. You're right on the money about Ant. The coolest thing about Haliburton is his fucked up ass jump shot. SGA's meticulously rehearsed cosplay of cool that has him trying for Opium and ending up looking like an off-license Blade parody from The Venture Bros. would be sort of endearing were it not for how disgraceful and cancerous his style of play is, and how the league rewards it. I think Adam Silver won't let anyone actually cool be a superstar unless he's truly forced to. If Ja Morant was like 15% better at playing Basketball he'd be undeniably the coolest. Alas.
The coolest person in America is ELUCID, that's easy. Unfortunately the coolest person my mom would know is probably Timothee.
Youre overcomplicating the NBA narrative. The new NBA stars arent like the 90s and 2000s stars because those guys grew up dirt poor and the economic barrier to entry is higher now (AAU, training camps). Plus the NBA now is full of 2nd generation players who by definition grew up in luxury. And if you dont believe me, consider that the one person you did list as cool is dark-skinned and comes from a poor neighborhood in atlanta.
Excellent piece. And you essentially explained why I'm so happy to be a neutral NBA-observer. I latch onto whoever I think is cool and fun to watch (or hate-watch: Knicks, Celtics) for 8 months and then do it all over again next season.
The NBA star now is similar to Vegas post-Mafia, the simulacrum of "cool" brought in as the NBA has become "de-mafiafied" with Adam Silver. Neoliberalism started to fill the power void by trying to manufacture a new generation of corny ad-campaign rappers that tout "loyalty" (Dame Lillard) directly leading to the NBA podcast generation seemingly trying to embody the "winning mindset business seminar speaker" to sell gambling ads. There's a progress in the safety gambling apps bring, they won't break your legs when you've spent your kids' college fund beating the under on Haliburton steals. But, you still lose the aura when the stakes seem lower, more sterile, and corporate without an embodied fear.
the Thompson twins will save us all
Optimization killed cool (at least as we knew it). Sixty 3s a game is mathematically sound, but lacks creativity. Nicotine without the risk of death is cheating. A homogenous West Village misunderstands the core concept. Avoiding the risk of a poor outcome is fundamentally uncool.
Hopefully, these are examples of the natural life cycle of cool shit. Guerrilla insurgencies that become mainstream due to their own success. The waltz was once irreverent. Jazz became jazz. And so on.
Fun read by the way. I’m now subscribed.
Tatum’s issue is that he’s been set up as the heir of Kobe but with absolutely none of the charisma, no matter how many flashy Nike campaigns he’s given. Brunson, despite the pedigree, was never really expected to reach this level, so him being a kinda boring normal guy feels much more natural. He may not be cool, but he's not trying to be, which should count for something
Tatum is going to take a hard look at his life over the next 10 months of recovery, stare deeply into Kobe's eyes in the poster on his bedroom ceiling, take a deep breath and decide "I need to commit a rape."
I am addicted to nicotine lozenges that I buy in bulk from CVS and Walgreens. While the mainstream nicotine discourse does not recognize this method, I would argue it is the most authentic and degenerate means of consumption. The child-proof caps always fall off the bottles, and I resort to sucking on loose lozenges from the bottom of my purse. There is no Reddit thread for people like me.
Smoking, why did I start, well I was once a fitness buff, didn’t smoke or drink, exercised daily, rode my mountain bike from home to the top of a nearby mountain at least once a week. Then I got a real job, I was working in state government as a student loan counselor but t wasn’t anywhere near enough to live on. So I traded my desk job for a jackleg rock drill. Luckily all that exercise allowed me to work a physically demanding job. It was a great job, great wages, free housing, free transportation to the mine, excellent health insurance for me and my family with room for advancement, free training, I doubled my income the first year then tripled it after that, it was 1995, we moved from working poverty in Montana to solid middle class in 6 months in northern Nevada. My wife quir her job, we bought a new house and a new car for the first and only time.
I road in a van with my mining crew, most were old guys just finishing up their mining careers, some had started mining in Butte in the 60s, one guy was 72. They were quiet, very tough and a blast to work with. Many of them smoked, some smoke camels or lucky strikes, they would break the filter of a filtered cigarette if they were desperate and complain about how you just can’t get good cigarettes anymore, damn filters and all.
One old guy would roll his own, he learned how to roll cigarettes with one hand while driving a tractor, his wife would iron a special crease on his bib overalls to hold the paper, he never complained about cigarettes and seemed to take great enjoyment of the whole process. One day, he was training me how to drill a face round with a jackleg when we had a very close call, car sized boulders came down right between us. When it stopped, I had pissed my pants and wasn’t sure if this was the job for me. He rolled a smoke for me and I realized the sudden benefits of his chosen delivery method. I was too shaky to light the first one.
Then after riding in a van 90 minutes each way with 6 guys that all smoked I decided to join the club. I only smoked when I was scared at first, but then it became a habit. Now after 30 years of smoking I still hand roll, using the best tobacco with very thin papers is an experience far removed from a store bought cigarette. The only way to compare this would be the difference between real Italian expresso vs Folgers coffee crystals. Just a vague resemblance. The delivery system is an important and overlooked part of the process. It takes a few years to get good at hand rolling but like anything after a couple thousand you get it down. Now when I roll I am reminded of the best times of my life, the coolest people and a once in a lifetime opportunity that worked out great for me, alas I cannot ride my mountain bike to the top of the mountain anymore but, I still enjoy remembering it all when I smoke.
Thank you for sharing this, I loved reading it
- zyn is to smoking as adderall is to coke
- american cool been in trouble since rappers and rich white teenagers merged via some cursed benzo horseshoe theory
- we could do much worse than “uncool” nba players as the archetype of american cool
- the coolest person in america is probably glorilla or meghan?
- nah but fr actually its some teenager in harlem
Great piece. it's an overused statement because everywhere is reddit now, but that includes nba superstars. it's fitting this is the first generation of superstars is probably the first one with a concept of "nba twitter" as something to be performed to or against
Some quote from this will inevitably end up in a deck presented to a client on how to broaden the appeal of their athletes. Which of course is half the problem. But in this case, it may also ironically be the solution.
I don’t know anything about Zyn or basketball but I read this entire piece because the writing is so good
I see this as a companion piece to Kyla Scanlon’s latest piece on “compliance” as the new American Dream: https://kyla.substack.com/p/compliance-is-the-new-american-dream?utm_source=post-banner&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=posts-open-in-app&triedRedirect=true
If the world outside is increasingly volatile and unpredictable, then there’s value in mitigating risk wherever you CAN—and in this case, one avenue for risk reduction is personal aesthetics. Smoking, while cool, is polarizing. Zyn, while less cool, doesn’t warrant pushback—and who can afford pushback, in this economy?
This is my second time reading this piece (because it’s good and I like it) and I feel like there was a comment about the Brunson stuff that I’m not seeing anymore. I’m a Knicks fan and I listen to Jalen/Josh’s podcast and I don’t think you’re wrong in your analysis (especially with the podcast, oh boy) but I do think part of his Drake/Eminem/etc caption uncoolness comes from (and here is where I’m repeating that comment I can’t find) the difference from where he was expected to be in the league vs where has put himself. I’m not trying to justify his uncoolness or win you over to enjoy him, rather than mention I feel like that sort of person (exceeds public expectations) exudes that kind of uncoolness and that’s a phenomenon in its own
Much like how some of our greatest athletes have an undying belief in god, these “comeback szn” athletes have an undying belief in the power of Eminem and early Drake lyrics
Truly sensational stuff here. You're right on the money about Ant. The coolest thing about Haliburton is his fucked up ass jump shot. SGA's meticulously rehearsed cosplay of cool that has him trying for Opium and ending up looking like an off-license Blade parody from The Venture Bros. would be sort of endearing were it not for how disgraceful and cancerous his style of play is, and how the league rewards it. I think Adam Silver won't let anyone actually cool be a superstar unless he's truly forced to. If Ja Morant was like 15% better at playing Basketball he'd be undeniably the coolest. Alas.
The coolest person in America is ELUCID, that's easy. Unfortunately the coolest person my mom would know is probably Timothee.
Something shifted when the coaches stopped wearing suits... walk with me
(This is the best essay I've read in months, you did your big one)
Youre overcomplicating the NBA narrative. The new NBA stars arent like the 90s and 2000s stars because those guys grew up dirt poor and the economic barrier to entry is higher now (AAU, training camps). Plus the NBA now is full of 2nd generation players who by definition grew up in luxury. And if you dont believe me, consider that the one person you did list as cool is dark-skinned and comes from a poor neighborhood in atlanta.
Good hypothesis — I’d bet on that too. Same thing could be said of the west village girls.
Great piece of writing regardless.
Excellent piece. And you essentially explained why I'm so happy to be a neutral NBA-observer. I latch onto whoever I think is cool and fun to watch (or hate-watch: Knicks, Celtics) for 8 months and then do it all over again next season.